is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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