We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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