everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
