great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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