nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
He better not be in your backpack
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
