You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
this beer tastes like vomit already
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
