I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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