This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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