If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
there is glitter all over my balls
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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