Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
