Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
