make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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