He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
its not stalking. its research.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
