Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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