i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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