Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
