if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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