you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
