I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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