4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
