if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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