Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
love makes seman taste better
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
