If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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