kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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