real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
