Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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