i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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