I'm eating all of the evidence.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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