She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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