RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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