That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
