I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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