He is such a slut. More and more my type.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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