My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
