She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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