Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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