that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I have feelings that need drinking.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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