i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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