It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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