There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
