More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
