i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I CAN MOONWALK!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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