his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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