She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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