how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Your penis caused this!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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