Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
two words: eviction party
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
