i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
