I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Randomize