so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
