Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
