One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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