it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
