Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
