votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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