He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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