just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
