the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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