I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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