dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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