jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Watching her eat just hurts me
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
