did you get engaged???
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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