why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
You were trust falling into bushes
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
