I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he was CRYING into my vagina
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
