I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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