Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
