I hate all girls vehemently.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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