Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
that is very illegal...i love you.
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