if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
