If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I had to cum in my sink.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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