i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
