He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
