But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
