I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
