is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
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