we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
