he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
